38. Move into a better neighborhood.
You can live in a nice house
It's not about physical relocation, but spiritual.
This article has been on tap for years. The above saying was meant to be a commonplace of The William Tell Show, but I have held back for various reasons. (1) Some will say white privilege makes me the wrong person to speak to poor people. (2) I'm not sure how big a role equipping folk to "Get on your feet" should play, on the William Tell Show. (3) As recently as six weeks ago, I had my doubts as to whether it's even feasible. In my current circumstances, I'm compelled to live ways I don't want to live, having to keep it secret if I give someone a piece of candy, having to abide two men sitting side by side who engage in a normal conversation by shouting.
In the weeks since, living according to The Way of Peace, I relocated spiritually. I moved farther upward in that column of light described in "Edgar Cayce's dream", where a world of strife and turmoil is at the bottom, and a world of harmony and light is at the top. This entails a changed worldview, in which things that seemed impossible before now seem realistic.
In my articles, I normally set forth some story of concrete events first, and then discuss their spiritual ramifications. I will reverse that sequence now, as it is the spiritual disciplines that make the concrete strategies possible.
Keep the focus on you.
Particularly when you first about seeking a better life, it's essential to keep your attention focused on what you are in fact seeking for yourself and what you personally can do to bring that about. It's up to you to do this, and to do the work.
The way of the world: particularly if you live in a "bad neighborhood" — What makes it "bad?" — you're not likely to get any cooperation from friends, neighbors or family members. It's futile to expect it. Eventually you may influence some folk around you to seek better for themselves also, but at the start, that's not likely to be.
You can set your own rules for how folk act inside your home. Aside from that, don't expect anyone to change his or her ways. Keep the focus on you.
Tune out the drama.
The worse your 'hood, the more drama you face.
It's what the people there create.
It's the principal cause of poverty.
You may be surrounded by people who ask, ask, ask for things you can't afford to give, and resent it when you don't. They expect you to rescue them from every self-created crisis, and blame you for the crisis if you don't. They have no regard for anything you've worked for; whether or not you can pay your bills is immaterial to them.
There's the signifying, the back-stabbing, the disrespect and false accusations of disrespect. The threats and realities of bodily harm.
The "community leaders" who get histrionic over things no one can do anything about, and insist you get histrionic, too.
If you are to take care of yourself, let alone advance, you need to tune it all out. Just say no to getting involved; let it pass right by you.
I lived in one of Baltimore's worst neighborhoods for five years, and only got robbed once. As it happens, they only got $14; they didn't get my I.D., bank card or phone.
Aside from the practical steps I'll discuss below, my relative safety was and is all about how I carry myself. I have a bright aura; and as I keep practicing The Way of Peace, it only gets brighter all the time. I do, in fact, smile almost all the time. On the street, I seek to see the child of God in every person I encounter; I mind my own business; I treat every one with respect, no matter how repulsive her or his appearance or actions may be.
Related: God's image
If you give respect, you get respect.
Perpetrators shy away from attacking people with bright auras. This is universal among sentient creatures; it's true in animals also. If you seek in general to live as Jesus taught; to show forth the image of God in yourself, and to see the image of God in each person you meet; as your level of happiness increases; you will shine more and more brightly. You'll feel that you no longer
Making the neighborhood safe for yourself will ultimately make it safer for others also. By the dynamic that Qabala calls
And it will be safer for everyone.
In the house
Cooperate with the owner.
Anything that profits the landlord, profits you, and vice versa.
Decent affordable housing is hard to find for one reason. Responsible landlords have strong disincentives from investing in it, because it overwhelmingly costs too much to have to keep repairing, to be blunt, tenant vandalism.
Related: Housing the homeless ain't that easy
These costs force owners to raise rents and make it harder to attract good tenants ( = good neighbors).
Invest in the property yourself.
Don't hesitate to invest your own money in making the place nice. The common excuse not to — "I don't own it." — is bull hockey.
If you break it, fix it.
Don't let trouble in the door.
If someone becomes A Problem outside the house, you can normally leave the situation: just go home. If someone becomes A Problem
If you have a baby daddy who routinely is A Problem, don't let him in the house. When he comes to pick up the child, have him wait outside the (locked) door while you go get the child and bring it to him. Likewise, when he drops off the child, he does this outside; rain or shine, the door does not open until after he is gone.
Marqua Wilson let trouble in the door:
On the street
Plan your comings and goings.
The wrong place at the wrong time? Don't go there. I have a chapter about this, above/below.
Don't hack; don't use hacks.
Whether you're the driver or the passenger, it's a great way to get robbed. In general, just OBEY THE LAW. This isn't rocket science. Criminality of any kind is like to risk your safety.
All my adult life, no matter where I lived: (1) I never carry any more cash than I mean to spend on that one trip; (2) I never withdraw more than $40 at a time from the ATM. This way: (A) When people ask me for money, I can honestly and nicely tell them no; (B) if I am robbed, the thieves won't get much, and I won't lose much.
People who've lived in the 'hood their whole lives sometimes do really foolish things in this regard. When I was a cashier at the dollar store —
A little old lady will go to the ATM and withdraw her entire check. For her safety's sake, this is not wise.
… does nothing but attract thieves. Rather than wear stuff that just shows people they can rob me, I'd put my money into things that empower me to make more: college or trade school courses, or tools to use in my skilled trade. No one can rob you of your education.Be safe.
(Adapted from a blog post.)